Think about how you’ll answer any questions like, ‘how do you know?’ or ‘how can I support you?’. They might be surprised, have lots of questions, not know what to say, or may have even guessed already. It’s a good idea to start by choosing a friend you trust and who you think will be supportive. Mindline Trans+ Helpline: 03 What will my friends say? Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline: 03 (10am-10pm daily) There are helplines, community groups and agencies across the country who are there to support you, for example:
If you decide you want to come out, but you’re unsure how others might react, you could consider contacting a support group first. ‘I’ve realised that I don’t feel attraction to others. ‘Could we please have a conversation about my gender identity? I think I’m trans and would really appreciate your support with this journey.’ This means I’m attracted to people regardless of their gender.’ ‘You’re important to me, so I want to share with you that I’m pansexual. It would mean a lot if you could tell me that you still love and accept me.’ ‘I’ve been thinking about my sexuality a lot recently and have realised that I’m gay.
You also don’t need to find a specific reason – if you want to come out, that’s reason enough! I want to come out, but I don’t know how to do it – can you help?Ĭoming out is a very personal process, but we’ve compiled a list of helpful phrases that could help get you started when having this conversation with loved ones or colleagues. If you are ready to come out, know that there is no right or wrong time to do it. If you decide not to come out, that’s OK too – your sexuality or gender identity are still completely valid. Take your time and trust your feelings – only you will know when you are comfortable and ready to go ahead. You might want to introduce people to your partner, look for a new relationship, or simply connect with the LGBTQ+ community and other people who have the same sexual orientation or gender identity as you.ĭon't feel under pressure to come out, whether that pressure’s coming from yourself or others. You might also want to come out because you think the experience will be exciting and liberating. It can take your focus and energy away from other important things in your life. Hiding who you are from others often means lying and pretending, and that becomes exhausting after a while. You may get to a point where you need to talk about it with someone – either to get support or simply to get it off your chest. Whether you've come to terms with your sexual orientation or gender identity, or you're still thinking about it, it can be difficult dealing with that on your own. Many people see it as the first step to living authentically as themselves. Even though coming out can be a challenge, it can also be incredibly liberating. It’s important to think about how you want to tell people and how the conversation might go with various people in your life. Others might have a less positive response or take longer to adapt. Some people will welcome the news immediately. Coming out is also only a part of your LGBTQ+ journey, and while it may be an important one for many people, it doesn’t define who you are, or the ways in which you love and accept yourself.Ĭoming out can be difficult and takes courage. You might feel comfortable being open about your sexual orientation and gender identity only with certain groups, or you might decide that you don’t want to be ‘out’ in every context.
Others move more slowly, sharing the news with one person or group at a time. Some people prefer to tell everybody at once, for example by posting on social media. It's also something unique to you – people face different challenges when coming out. Coming out is not necessarily a one-off event – lesbian, gay bi, trans, queer, questioning and ace (LGBTQ+) people often have to come out many times during our lives. Telling people about your sexual orientation or gender identity is often called ‘coming out’.